Things I learned about God from Livvy

Things I learned about God from Livvy Lou | By Bethany Luchetta

I sat outside eating Brunch last week in Newport Beach with a longtime friend from Sydney who happened to be in town doing some music stuff. We don’t get together too often anymore, but it always picks up where we left off; like not much time has passed. You may have those friendships too. They are not without work, and there are historic up’s and down’s; but they last over time. Needless to say, after almost 20 years of friendship, there is more shared history, than unshared history. We talked about churches in the OC. I mentioned walking into a new satellite location in OC of a popular LA church, and immediately feeling old. He chuckled and said, “Thank you. right!? I get that.” I TOTALLY did not expect that response from him, I put him in the ‘young and cool’ category – opposite the table from my aging and ‘not-so-cool’ category. He isn’t even that much younger than me. He’s a music producer, and I’m pretty much a ‘stay at home’ mom now (not to dig on stay-at-home-moms, but let’s face it, we aren’t living the music producer life).  He said he has had this shared experience, as he looks around to comment on his experience, ‘we are the parents?!’. I was 17 when my mom was my age, so that really hits home. We got to reminisce of things we are now learning, but learning from our own offspring instead of our parents or school.

I came home and reflected on the lessons I have been learning about God from my very own Livvy Lou. Here they are for you to ponder, if you haven’t already gleaned these from your own little bambinos.

  1. Running Ahead Before Listening

I am not talking about literally running, although this could be practical for some moms with rambunctious ones. Livvy is a lot like me, and she thinks she knows everything. So, why take the time to sit, acquire and listen, when we can jump into it BECAUSE we already know. It hit me the other day when I said it out loud. Since I am a word person, typically I notice things when they are said verbally; it just resonates with me. I was trying to help Livvy put things into groups in order to count, and then recognize the groups without having to recount again. But, she already knew! Of course, she knows everything, she’s 4. How could I forget. No lessons, self-taught! Then I said out loud, “Livvy, you can’t run ahead before you stop and listen so you know what to do next!” — And there’s the ah-ha moment as I hear God say “Yes, Bethany, please don’t run out ahead, thinking you already know, without stopping to listen for my voice of direction.” Conviction. I have to literally stop talking while I am trying to teach her, and say, “Livvy Lou, mommy struggles with this too. And we both need to work on this. Why don’t we try and work on this together?” Since she is so inquisitive I had to give specific examples, which I did, and helped her understand how this can be a life lesson she works on. That also gave me more grace for her.

  1. Wanting Things Instead of Time

Things are not bad. We all need things. Some people even express their love language with gifts. I get that. And ‘having’ is not bad. I believe it’s when our focus becomes the things, we get off balance. Livvy loves things. Anything from a tube a chapstick to an expensive Ipad. She doesn’t understand the value of money, so those are the same to her. Small gifts are better for her, she feels love and I can give them more often; win-win. But, like most humans, we can get distracted with the things we want. Livvy starts to ask for more, and more, and more. This mommy gets really annoyed because I get stumped between spoiling, meeting her love language and her being naïve on the cost of things. So, I said to her (aloud of course, as to hear God speak through my own mouth to myself), “Livvy, honey, can you please just be okay sitting with me, talking to me, snuggling me. Why do you always ask for things? That’s not how our relationship will grow.” BAM! OUCH… Yes, God. I heard you. I stop and look little Lou Lou in the eyes and say, “You know honey, ‘things’ aren’t bad. I want to give you things. But I also want to just be WITH you. I have a hard time with this too. Let’s both work on it more.” You may think, what an odd way to talk to a 4-year old. Well, I was never a lady to use baby talk, she’s human, I speak to her normally. And trust me, she gets it.

There are several more, but I will leave you with this last one.

  1. Forgetting What Was Just Said

Yep, if you have kids, you know exactly what I am saying. Be it, they were distracted by their sibling, a show, or a toy… they forget what you said in 2 seconds. Parenting is a long exhortation of constant reminding. Let’s hope they outgrow it – at least a little. But, look at the Israelites. Look at ANYONE. We set our mind to something, and bang, we are distracted. Yes, there are exceptions to this rule. There are always exceptions. But the moment I said, “Livvy, when are you going stop getting distracted and forgetting what I just said?!” – Again, I hear God audibly (in my own voice, yet again) – “Hmmm… Yes Dear, when will you?!” He’s so gentle and sweet. I almost cried on this one. Livvy looked at me, and slowed down as if she had disappointed me. She said, “Mamma, what are your feelings?” – because it looked like I was going to cry. I answered the same as before, we both need to work on this one. I am going to practice compassion on you, and you can practice it on me too. But we will both keep working on following and staying on course.

Maybe you have learned something AWEsome like this too. Share it below in the comments for us all to read!


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Bethany Luchetta is a writer of life and reality. In hopes to connect with the humanity around her, she writes from her heart. Bethany just celebrated 7 years of marriage with her love, Vince Luchetta. They are both on their second marriage. Life has not been without challenge in their personal lives and career lives, yet they strive for growth in love and tragedy. They share three beautiful daughters, Makayla (18), Paige (14), and Livvy Lou (4). If you see them, reach out and say hi!

Observations of a Blown Mind – Who’d a Thunk?

Observations of a Blown Mind – Who’d a Thunk? | By Sonya Finley
A Freedom Challenge Story

This past June, I had the opportunity to participate in the Bryce/Zion Freedom Challenge 2018. I was unprepared for the unexpectedly awesome experience it would be. Who’d a thunk hanging with a bunch of women in the canyons of Utah would be so mind blowing? I walked away with quite a few profound observations.

Who’d a thunk. . .?

. . .a great love could be displayed in so many small ways?From the very beginning, I felt like God was reminding He loved me in very small, special ways. From being upgraded to Premium Class on our departing flight, to the “I got you” attitude of the young lady working the counter at the car rental office, to the sweet ride (Nissan Armada, fully loaded, leather seats, sunroof…you get the idea) I drove in to Utah, to the women who supportively listen to my story without judgement, to Ms. Barbara whose prayers reminded me that “the who” that I am has purpose, to finding the perfect cluster of trees with a wooden “bench” that made it easy for me to “take care of much needed business” on my first hike, to the surprising connections made, to the leader who sought me out because she had not seen me all day, to the care shown by the prayer team as they prayerfully massaged the aches and pains from our feet after each hike. And even though I felt a wee bit discombobulated (well a lot discombobulated), my Beauty for Ashes painting presentation was well received and gave the ladies a much needed “lightness” after a very heavy day. I gotta say, I left feeling very loved indeed.

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. . .A single word could be so powerful?This year the prayer warriors gave each hiker a word. One word prayerfully considered and totally applicable to the woman who received it. These words resonated with the women all week long and for some, was the difference between giving up and finding strengthto keep pushing.  There were also quite a few ladies who latched on to an “unexpected” word spoken in a manner of power and joy. Hallelujah!I do not recall the context in which I was asked to say it, but I did. And while the women responded in kind, I thought that was the end of it. But for the next few days, I was told several stories of how that word was spoken from the “mountain top” and how it inspired songs of praise. I saw it being intoned at the beginning of prayers and I, myself, used it before my presentation to bring focus in a moment of perceived chaos. A simple word, so full of power, praise and joy. (Of course, I have now been dubbed the “hallelujah hiker”.)

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. . .that challenging yourself for someone else’s freedom would lead to your own?We were there to fight for others who were in no position to fight for themselves, but much was said about how we are all overcome with our own versions of enslavement. Issues that hold our identities hostage filtering everything we believe about ourselves through a lens so dense we lose sight of our purpose, our power, our possibilities. The challenge of the hikes provided an opportunity to put a very physical action to a very spiritual deliverance. The act of pushing oneself beyond your comfort put the women (including myself) in a venerable place open to healing and deliverance. For the Level 1 group, the “Sassy Silver Sistahs”, we picked up a burden at the beginning of our second hike. We named it and then literally through it away, an action that symbolized a burden being released and given to God. There were tears and the released burdens were weighty. We all came down the mountain a little lighter that day.

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. . .stories of enslavement can be found in our back yard?We were blessed to hear the story of an American woman’s journey from being enslaved by her mother and stepfather to finding a life of freedom that included a long-lasting marriage, children, and a passion to help others out of where she used to be. Her strength to endure being locked in a room where she was practically starved and sexually abused daily and her courage to share her story was powerful. It reminded us what we were there for.

. . .a professed non-athlete can stand proudly and call herself a hiker? So, shortly after I said yes to this challenge, I realized the magnitude of what I agreed to. I agreed to hike for three days in a row?! Not one, but three?! Say what now? But I’m good, right? I walk 5k’s, 10k’s and half marathons, so I should be okay. I thought, until I began training. I felt well out of my depth—unqualified and unable to complete the challenge. I professed this lack—often! I’m pretty sure I annoyed my teammates to no end. My anxiety around this event was high. But I’m no quitter, so I showed up and faced my fears. Fears, which, I must be honest, did not abate until I sat with our Sherpa (Roxy Hicks—she’s awesome!) and she let us know what to expect. I will even admit I got a little excited …what?! I hiked three days! Three very different types of hikes! It was not a walk in the park (literally), but I got through it and I actually enjoyed it. Our leaders’ approach went far to make all of us feel less self-conscious about our level of abilities and kept our focus on enjoying the journey (and taking pictures!). On the last day of the conference I proudly proclaimed, “I am a hiker”. This declaration received a round of applause, a standing ovation from my dear Sherpa, and I became the proud recipient of the proverbial (and literal) “big girl panties”!

. . .that I am capable of far more than I think?What I didn’t think I could do, God should me I could. Simple as that.

Who’d a thunk indeed…

A Freedom Challenge hiker, that’s


20180625_171510Sonya A. Finley has been living the single life for 24 years. In that time she has raised four awesome young men (James – 26, Kevin – 23, Joshua and Johnathan – 18), graduated from college with a BFA, and began a huge step in her professional career. She is on the verge of a new season in her single life that now focuses on a journey not centered around child-rearing. She has made many mis-steps, learned quite a few bits of wisdom along the way and is happy to share with women who find themselves in the same place.

Summer Lovin’

Summer Lovin’ | By Bethany Sousa
Creatively speaking, I always-seem-to-never be able to focus during the summer. I’m always distracted. When I think about summer, I immediately picture being at the beach with my siblings, parents, and sometimes friends, sitting on boogie boards with salty hair, sandy feet, eating a tuna fish sandwich and sipping on capri-sun. I can remember as if it were yesterday. There was such a freedom in summer vacation as an adolescent. Those precious few months of pure bliss of having no expectations from a day-to-day routine of mundane class-work and constant battles of friends being mean and being embarrassed by my unique and different qualities. Oh how I loved those summer days of letting my cares be as free as my hair was while jumping on the trampoline and riding our bikes around the neighborhood. As I got older, more responsibilities piled up which made summer vacation more of a mindset and less of a gift. 
Do you remember when you realized you no longer had “summer vacation”? I was fresh out of high school and taking classes at a community college, working full time at a restaurant, interning, and trying to keep friendships. I remember thinking, “I will never have a free summer vacation ever again”. It was the first taste of a little dish called ‘adulting’, and I was forever changed. I realized I had to work if I wanted to have that ‘first kind’ of summer ever again. Summer went from being a euphoric freedom to being just a season of the year where it was very hot and I had to work a lot because my job was always understaffed and, well, it’s tourist season. However, once I realized that summer could be a state of mind, I noticed a maturing in my heart working itself out.
Summer was becoming about self-love, taking the time to rest, allowing my hair to fly like it would as a kid. Instead of being stuck in the past of summer being about rest and adventure and being mad about having to work, I noticed I had a choice to be able to see this season in an old way again. 
Each year I forget about this summer mindset of liberation. I will get caught up in focusing on so many details of my life and what is happening around me to schedule and keep up with, that I forget to love myself. I always admired watching mom’s in the summer-time.
How you keep your kiddos entertained 24/7, I don’t think I’ll ever understand! You’re epic goddesses! As I watch my family members and friends battle balancing mommy hood with activities, and scheduling playdates, and dinners, all while working being daughters, wives, sisters, friends, etc. How in the world do you ever find time for your summer love?!
Talking with a few close friends who seem to “look like they have it all together”, I realized they don’t! They just never NEVER give up on what brings them joy. One friend is an artist, she teaches it thats how much she loves it! Mommy of two kiddos under the age of three, a kick-booty-wife and friend. And not to down play her incredible heart for praying and taking care of her family, I constantly think to myself “I could never do what she does… I’d loose my mind!”. However, she has taught me over and over again that she finds her balance in never forgetting what she loves to do. Gardening, cooking a new recipe, painting for her friends, going to new coffee shops, simply being spontaneous. Does it look different now in her late 20’s? ABSOLUTELY!
Why should life growth and changes keep her from having that trampoline hair, or even a tunafish sandwich on the beach, moment? It shouldn’t! Self-love is such a gorgeous and delicate vase that we have. Keeping fresh, vibrant flowers in it is a hard task to achieve with all the chaos, yes. But just pause to imagine what life would be like if we could take the same time it takes us to fold a load of laundry, that never seems to end, and do something for ourselves every couple days! Oh, what peace we would find. God has given us unique and fantastic skills and passions. Imagine if we took time to invest in those skills and passions. Maybe a Jesus moment is waiting to be found! Rest is a gift we need to learn to receive from ourselves, lets help each other find it. Lord knows we need it 😉

 


IMG_3304BETHANY is a singer/songwriter currently living in Nashville, TN. Her dream and desire is to partner with other artists collaboratively to help bring awareness to the audience an awakening of purpose. In today’s western culture, we have focused too music on selfish ego and not enough on the bigger picture–we’re all here for a purpose, and we all play an important role in achieving that goal in each other  Art is such an intense expression and tool to use to help awaken peoples minds and souls of their own existence. Music heals us mentally and spiritually, and one of her main goals is to help bring that healing, one song at a time.

April showers bring May flowers…

April showers bring May flowers | By Bethany Sousa

For me, Springtime has typically been associated with the word refreshing and newness in my mind through the years. Probably because I automatically picture fresh tulips on my parents dining table growing up as a child. With Mother’s Day still on my mind, I find myself reflecting on all the mothers that have been in, and around, my life so far. All the wonderful jewels they have each placed in my crown of feminine identity and social womanhood. What a crown they have built for me, and I get to wear it proudly every day!

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79ideas.org Photo Credit

However, it wasn’t always so simple and easy for me to receive such wisdom with grace and understanding. Along with refreshing and newness, Spring also brings maturity. Now there’s a word I probably would’ve never associated with Spring prior to today – maturity. For all those women who have poured such wisdom into my life, I had no idea they were instilling a mature femininity into the way I would live my life out.

It’s quite fascinating for me to look back and recall all the “ah-ha” moments of gaining a new perspective, or patiently working out the painful moments of maturing. One of the greatest words of wisdom I gained from a woman in my mid 20’s was about how sometimes the harvest of God’s promise takes us through the long way around, similar to the Israelites. Now that was a very loose translation, but I’m sure you get the idea. They had to “work out their faith” so to speak, for many years before being able to receive the fullness of the promise land. Time for me, meant waiting on the Lord in His non-linear timing. For example, waiting on the Lord to fulfill a prophetic word, or a dream, or even a desire that weighs heavy on the heart. Well, I was all of these examples! Finding myself questioning His involvement at times, and even asking was He even involved anymore or did He skip out on me for a little? It was quite the opposite!

He graciously asked me one day what Spring meant to me and what I saw when I thought of it. My response was a field of flowers, similar to the Carlsbad field of flowers. What He spoke next blew my immature mentality out into a maturity I had no idea I was in need of. He showed me a picture of small little sprouts budding out of rich soil. Rows and rows of sprouts. Then He said, “Bethany, this is Spring. Behold, I will make all things new. You have plowed and worked the field, look and see that I am good. Spring isn’t always a time of reaping abundance. It is also a time of new beginnings and starting over”. I felt such a freedom from an old way of thinking. No longer did I have to pressure myself with an expectation of having to see a full field of harvest, but now I can rejoice in the simplest of refreshing and newness that the Lord is working out through me!

Featured Image Photo Credit: OgNature.org

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cityuniversity.ca Photo Credit


IMG_3304BETHANY is a singer/songwriter currently living in Nashville, TN. Her dream and desire is to partner with other artists collaboratively to help bring awareness to the audience an awakening of purpose. In today’s western culture, we have focused too music on selfish ego and not enough on the bigger picture–we’re all here for a purpose, and we all play an important role in achieving that goal in each other  Art is such an intense expression and tool to use to help awaken peoples minds and souls of their own existence. Music heals us mentally and spiritually, and one of her main goals is to help bring that healing, one song at a time.

 

A Relationship Renewed 

A Relationship Renewed | By Terri Krumweide

Difficult relationships can be, well, difficult. When the difficult relationship is with someone you gave birth to, it can be heartbreaking. My son has always been a bit of a challenge. At 11 lbs 11 ounces, he came into this world physically advanced and already more than a handful! I couldn’t keep up with him even then, the kid was just hungry. All. The. Time. I started him on cereal, by the Doctor’s suggestion, at one month. From there, he just seemed to do everything early, roll over, crawl, walk. He even learned to ride a bike without training wheels at 3- I kid you not. Raising a child who is so physically capable, yet not mature enough to control his impulses, was, well you guessed it- difficult.

Lil Ryan and meIn addition to his lack of impulse control, he had to deal with the confusion of being raised separately by two parents with very different discipline styles, a new stepdad, and a new baby sister- not a recipe for success for any kid. I put him in organized sports at age 3, which helped him burn off some of his energy, but my first trip to the principals’ office was his fourth day of kindergarten, and every parent teacher conference was me listening to the teacher tell me how disruptive my son was in class and how all the kids followed his lead. Ritalin was even suggested, which my pediatrician, God bless her, completely rejected. It wasn’t until third grade when he had, which he will still tell you to this day was his favorite teacher, Mr. Peterson, that someone finally understood what my son needed. As I walked into that first conference, head held low waiting to hear the horrors my son had been causing in his class, Mr. Peterson smiled and told me what a good boy my son was and how smart and helpful he was in class. My look of shock made him laugh and when I asked him about him acting up in class he said, “Well if I see Ryan getting a little antsy, I just send him out to run a couple laps on the track and he comes back ready to work.” Eureka!! He had another great teacher the next year, Mr. Mann, but sadly there were many more years of unhappy teachers and trips to the principal’s office, and unfortunately it developed a pattern of me always expecting the worst and constant disappointment, hopelessness and heartache.  And if someone is always expecting the worst of you, it’s pretty easy to deliver.

Teen Ryan and meMy son was not raised in a Christian home. We went to a Catholic church until he was about 14, which does not operate in the grace of God but more on how good you are, which my son was constantly being told by people in authority, he was not. I didn’t get “Saved” until the first time my husband left, and during that time, there was so much pain and so many tears from me and his now 3 sisters’, and that, coupled with the complete devastation of losing the respect of a man he completely looked up to, he found his escape in drugs and alcohol.  Yet another source of great pain and disappointment for a mom that never wanted her children to go down a road she had been down and knew where it led. My goal at that time was pretty much just to get him graduated from high school, which he did, barely, and then he would be on his own and I would not have to be affected by his rebellion and bad choices any longer.

Flash forward to my son as an adult, living back in my house, after several times being kicked out but having just been released from being in jail for five days and having nowhere else to go. There is something about seeing your child ushered into a courtroom in an orange jumpsuit handcuffed to a bunch of scary looking criminals that makes you want to bring them home and keep them safe. I set really strong boundaries, church was mandatory, no drugs, no visitors, get a job, etc and any violation of the rules meant immediate eviction.  At first, he was so compliant and very eager to please, grateful he had a place to live, but as time went on, old behavior patterns kicked in, and he was back in the habit of disappointing and I was in the habit of constantly letting him know it.

Love WorksThen, I signed up for a class at The Father’s House- “Love Works” a program developed and taught by Weyman and Susan Howard, based on 1 Corinthians 13. Compassion is my lowest gifting, so loving other’s well is something I desperately need help with. The first week of class was about patience, first receiving it- I knew my sins had been forgiven but had I ever stopped to think about how patient and long suffering the Lord had been with me in doing that? Had I ever truly received it? As I examined it I was sure of one thing- God never threatened to kick me out of the Kingdom every time I made a mistake, not like I did to my son… Ouch. Next was, kindness, where again we focused on first receiving it from the Lord and then practicing it. I was on my knees constantly for my son and I fiercely loved him, but my thoughts towards him were anything but kind. As we continued into the study, The Lord was softening my heart towards my son and showing me what I needed to let go of “Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs” Love doesn’t but I sure did and could recite them all back to him at any given moment. When we got to the “Believes All Things, Hopes All Things, Endures All Things” section that’s where The Lord really opened my eyes to what my son needed. When I looked at my son, I saw all the hurt and disappointment of the past, I never saw him how God saw him, I never BELIEVED anything more for him, I had stopped hoping for anything more from him. As I look back and read the things I wrote at that time: “Lord, help me to see my son as you do and to love him like you do, correcting in love.” And “I need to believe that the power of The Holy Spirit can help me to believe good for my son, and to help him resurrect his true identity and be the man God created him to be.” I can assure you that The Lord did. He showed me that Ryan didn’t need to be reminded of all the bad things he’d done, he needed all the goodness in him reaffirmed, and even though he still wasn’t making choices that I necessarily liked or agreed with, I could still operate in love.

My son is a good person with a generous heart, when I looked back on the fights he got into growing up, he was sticking up for the little guy. Although he was never studious and didn’t apply himself in school, my son is really intelligent and learns things easily. Although he could be disrespectful, he is kind and helpful. His physical ability has made him amazing at every sport he’s ever tried. He is great with children; kids and pets love him. It did my momma’s heart so much good to see my son through the eyes of love again. He was more than his mistakes, he was a masterpiece.  God is Love and Love brings renewal. I began treating my son with respect, and I asked for forgiveness when I didn’t, and sure enough, as time went by, the pattern was broken and the relationship was restored. And even when our relationship was tested and we failed sometimes the effort made to love my son well, was truly blessed by The Lord, and I can tell you as I write this, not only has the Lord redeemed my relationship with my son, but He has completely redeemed my son’s life, but that, is a story for another time!


The familyTerri Krumweide lives and works in Escondido. Her greatest achievements in life are her four children, Ryan 31, recently married to the beautiful Alexys, Brianna 28, married to the brilliant Dr Brendan, Miranda, 25 married to the amazing Joey, the proud parents of her adorable first grandbaby, Jeremiah, and her youngest Micaela 21, who is currently away, killing it in college. A couple of her favorite quotes are “Sometimes the greatest thing you can do for the kingdom is not in what you do but in who you raise.” And “There is no greater joy than to know your children are walking in the truth.” All four of her children are amazing servants of God and her constant source of joy is spending time with her family. She also has two golden retrievers, Daisy 5 months and Delilah 5 years, who receive all the nurturing she has to give now that all of her children Daisy and Delilahare out of the house. She spends most of her time walking and pampering her pets, and babysitting the sweetest boy in the whole world, every chance she gets. She also co-leads the ‘Extraordinary Women’ women’s group at church where she loves connecting with the ladies of The Father’s House and friends. She is always looking for new ministry opportunities where she can utilize the gifts The Lord has blessed her with to serve others and to help further the kingdom. If you want to know more- get connected with her- she is always looking to make new friends!