Things I learned about God from Livvy Lou | By Bethany Luchetta
I sat outside eating Brunch last week in Newport Beach with a longtime friend from Sydney who happened to be in town doing some music stuff. We don’t get together too often anymore, but it always picks up where we left off; like not much time has passed. You may have those friendships too. They are not without work, and there are historic up’s and down’s; but they last over time. Needless to say, after almost 20 years of friendship, there is more shared history, than unshared history. We talked about churches in the OC. I mentioned walking into a new satellite location in OC of a popular LA church, and immediately feeling old. He chuckled and said, “Thank you. right!? I get that.” I TOTALLY did not expect that response from him, I put him in the ‘young and cool’ category – opposite the table from my aging and ‘not-so-cool’ category. He isn’t even that much younger than me. He’s a music producer, and I’m pretty much a ‘stay at home’ mom now (not to dig on stay-at-home-moms, but let’s face it, we aren’t living the music producer life). He said he has had this shared experience, as he looks around to comment on his experience, ‘we are the parents?!’. I was 17 when my mom was my age, so that really hits home. We got to reminisce of things we are now learning, but learning from our own offspring instead of our parents or school.
I came home and reflected on the lessons I have been learning about God from my very own Livvy Lou. Here they are for you to ponder, if you haven’t already gleaned these from your own little bambinos.
- Running Ahead Before Listening
I am not talking about literally running, although this could be practical for some moms with rambunctious ones. Livvy is a lot like me, and she thinks she knows everything. So, why take the time to sit, acquire and listen, when we can jump into it BECAUSE we already know. It hit me the other day when I said it out loud. Since I am a word person, typically I notice things when they are said verbally; it just resonates with me. I was trying to help Livvy put things into groups in order to count, and then recognize the groups without having to recount again. But, she already knew! Of course, she knows everything, she’s 4. How could I forget. No lessons, self-taught! Then I said out loud, “Livvy, you can’t run ahead before you stop and listen so you know what to do next!” — And there’s the ah-ha moment as I hear God say “Yes, Bethany, please don’t run out ahead, thinking you already know, without stopping to listen for my voice of direction.” Conviction. I have to literally stop talking while I am trying to teach her, and say, “Livvy Lou, mommy struggles with this too. And we both need to work on this. Why don’t we try and work on this together?” Since she is so inquisitive I had to give specific examples, which I did, and helped her understand how this can be a life lesson she works on. That also gave me more grace for her.
- Wanting Things Instead of Time
Things are not bad. We all need things. Some people even express their love language with gifts. I get that. And ‘having’ is not bad. I believe it’s when our focus becomes the things, we get off balance. Livvy loves things. Anything from a tube a chapstick to an expensive Ipad. She doesn’t understand the value of money, so those are the same to her. Small gifts are better for her, she feels love and I can give them more often; win-win. But, like most humans, we can get distracted with the things we want. Livvy starts to ask for more, and more, and more. This mommy gets really annoyed because I get stumped between spoiling, meeting her love language and her being naïve on the cost of things. So, I said to her (aloud of course, as to hear God speak through my own mouth to myself), “Livvy, honey, can you please just be okay sitting with me, talking to me, snuggling me. Why do you always ask for things? That’s not how our relationship will grow.” BAM! OUCH… Yes, God. I heard you. I stop and look little Lou Lou in the eyes and say, “You know honey, ‘things’ aren’t bad. I want to give you things. But I also want to just be WITH you. I have a hard time with this too. Let’s both work on it more.” You may think, what an odd way to talk to a 4-year old. Well, I was never a lady to use baby talk, she’s human, I speak to her normally. And trust me, she gets it.
There are several more, but I will leave you with this last one.
- Forgetting What Was Just Said
Yep, if you have kids, you know exactly what I am saying. Be it, they were distracted by their sibling, a show, or a toy… they forget what you said in 2 seconds. Parenting is a long exhortation of constant reminding. Let’s hope they outgrow it – at least a little. But, look at the Israelites. Look at ANYONE. We set our mind to something, and bang, we are distracted. Yes, there are exceptions to this rule. There are always exceptions. But the moment I said, “Livvy, when are you going stop getting distracted and forgetting what I just said?!” – Again, I hear God audibly (in my own voice, yet again) – “Hmmm… Yes Dear, when will you?!” He’s so gentle and sweet. I almost cried on this one. Livvy looked at me, and slowed down as if she had disappointed me. She said, “Mamma, what are your feelings?” – because it looked like I was going to cry. I answered the same as before, we both need to work on this one. I am going to practice compassion on you, and you can practice it on me too. But we will both keep working on following and staying on course.
Maybe you have learned something AWEsome like this too. Share it below in the comments for us all to read!
Bethany Luchetta is a writer of life and reality. In hopes to connect with the humanity around her, she writes from her heart. Bethany just celebrated 7 years of marriage with her love, Vince Luchetta. They are both on their second marriage. Life has not been without challenge in their personal lives and career lives, yet they strive for growth in love and tragedy. They share three beautiful daughters, Makayla (18), Paige (14), and Livvy Lou (4). If you see them, reach out and say hi!