What’s in Your Purse? – Interactive

What’s in Your Purse? | by Sonya Finley
(An Interactive Blog)

For as long as I can remember, a woman’s purse was her sacred space to keep all things personal and portable. Woe unto them who went in her purse without permission! That was a violation of the highest degree. Punishment could be a vicious verbal lashing or a bruise on the head from being hit with the very purse you violated. Even now, with as far as we have come in society today, a woman’s purse is still a revered thing and people, especially men; understand that you do not go into a woman’s purse unless instructed. Even then, you must make sure to only touch what you were specifically given permission to. Yeah, it is that serious. Am I right ladies?

56391

As it stands, a woman’s handbag is often an extension of her personality, her personal style, and her fashion sense (or lack thereof). She will often spend a great deal of time selecting the perfect bag. I myself have been known to “try on” upwards of 5 or more purses and still leave the store empty handed because nothing “fit”.  I have even met a few women with intricate “processes” for picking the right purse. Yes, it is that serious. But that is certainly a blog for another day.

Of course, while the handbag may reflect the owner’s style, what’s inside that bag will give you detailed insight into that woman’s psyche. I am reminded of that scene in the movie The Breakfast Club (best movie ever!) where Ally Sheedy’s character has dumped the contents of her purse in front of the two guys (Judd Nelson and Anthony Michael Hall). allison-dumping-purseThe guys begin to pick through her stuff, asking questions and making comments. Realizing that she has revealed too much, she becomes uncomfortable with their scrutiny and quickly jams her things back into her bag. She knew, as all women do, that there is something very telling about the contents of our purses. And oh the stories they could tell. Some are intensely personal and very emotional. Some are funny and downright strange. (Why do I have a package of airplane nuts in my purse right now?) Regardless of the item, there is always a reason for it being in a woman’s purse—no matter how random it might seem to the outside world, when it was put in that purse, there was a purpose. It may be irrelevant right now, but at the time there was a reason. Right?

My current handbag, which is probably more of a large tote, is a bright red Coach bag. Red is my go to neutral and my pop of color for any outfit. And while that may not be surprising to those that know me, perhaps what I carry along it in is…but then again, maybe not. (LOL!) At the time I wrote this piece, I found the following items in my purse:

  • 2 small clutches of the same brand and color of my tote. One came with the bag and the other was given to me by a dear friend as a celebratory gift for landing my current job. She understood me so well.
  • Also included are several letters, bills, and coupons. I find myself tossing in various mail items to remind me to take care of something or another. Does this always work? Yeah, not so much. I keep doing it anyway.
  • I also have a plethora of beauty products. Lotions, nail files (that I can never find when I need them) lip balm, mascara, perfume, and believe it or not, the red lipstick and mirror compact we were given at the last TFH’s women event. And while I very rarely touch up my make up during the day, I keep these things in there just in case some tall drink of water decides to ask me out right after work…it could happen!
  • I guess the oddest thing I have in my purse is that package of nuts, the kind they give you on the plane. I must have put them in there for a snack, but never got around to eating them or throwing them away for that matter.

I am not sure what all that says about me that you did not already know, but, hey, I’ve shown you mine, now you can show me yours.

So, ladies, what’s in your purse?  Snap a picture of what’s going on in your handbag. Post them in the comments section of this post and let us know the story behind your stuff. Be it crazy, weird, or a memory held so dear. Are you organized to a fault or do you just toss it in there as you go? We want to know! Don’t forget to tag your friends so they can share in the fun too!

Be blessed y’all!


20170113_074913-1-1

Sonya A. Finley has been living the single life for 24 years. In that time she has raised four awesome young men (James – 26, Kevin – 23, Joshua and Johnathan – 18), graduated from college with a BFA, and began a huge step in her professional career. She is on the verge of a new season in her single life that now focuses on a journey not centered around child-rearing. She has made many mis-steps, learned quite a few bits of wisdom along the way and is happy to share with women who find themselves in the same place.

Intimacy

Intimacy | By Bethany Luchetta

Where are you God? I am waiting for You to show up.

Fact: God is here. So now what?

Here is what I found. I hope you can pick-up on my analogy. You can walk around on a getty_rf_twofingerspecial date with your lover. You can be with them and connect. But you aren’t making love 100% of the time, or even 90% or 10% or of the time. The truly intimate, physically
resonating connecting moments are rarer than the time we spend together connecting in non-physical ways. There may be seasons when we are jumping-in-bed-all-the-time; making-love like bunnies! This is the same with our intimacy with God. There are seasons we are running to Him, fully feeling Him, and experiencing wholeness in our soul. You may say, ‘addicted’ to the emotional high we get from ‘the touch’!

With that in mind… What if your lover only wanted you in bed? What kind of Online-Dating-Data-Featured-382x255relationship would that be? I am ashamed to admit, there was a time I thought sex was the only flash-in-the-pan that I needed. But the truth is, it leaves you empty if there is no other connection. What about truly caring for someone outside of how they make you feel? What if there was no ‘foreplay’ or time spent getting to know your heart and mind. The relationship would be shallow and immature. So, just like your lover, God wants to hear your heart. God wants you to hear His heart too!

The dictionary defines ‘coming together’ or ‘communion’ (which is a form of prayer) as: The sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially when the exchange is on a mental or spiritual level.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:17, the Apostle Paul says to ‘pray without ceasing’. How is this even possible if prayer only looks like a traditional prayer picture we see on wall art. It is not possible to live like that. We couldn’t perform any other of our worldly tasks required if we are down on knees petitioning all day – albeit, this type of prayer is important in times. It’s not a wonder this definition of ‘pray’ in verse 17 is outlined as: “Fellowship with God through Jesus Christ, expressed in adoration, thanksgiving and intercession, through which believers draw near to God and learn more of his will for their lives.” This, we can do without ceasing. And what is November without Thanksgiving!?

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAnkAAAAJDMyZjVkZmE4LTlkMDQtNGNiOS1iYTFiLWY4Y2ZiMzA0ZTQ1OA

I struggle with this idea of prayer (or any idea of prayer, to be completely honest). I still long for ‘the touch’. You may have heard of ‘programming; yes, like a computer. People are programmed a certain way (nature / nurture). Sometimes your computer needs new programing. The brain responds to new code. So, here is my specific struggle, I have a hard time asking for help. And it’s my responsibility to upload the new script so I can grow. So, prayer to God for petition or intercession creates a mind-block for me. But I have to train myself that the Bible is true and this area of prayer is good, and desired by God. I also struggle with being vulnerable and allowing myself to be known. Prayer for ‘communion’ sake – just being together and becoming familiar with one another is good. So, I have to re-program myself for that Truth. And even when I crave the deeper touch, I have to trust that the other moments are vital and bring deeper faith. The feeling will come with time. Truth will set you free, and rehearsing it will reprogram your mind.

The intimacy you crave (and I crave) is good. God desires intimacy with us too. It fills us up so we can give back.

I am laughing out loud right now because an example just came to my mind: when you get intimate time with your lover, it takes the edge off. If you don’t get ‘the need’ met, the 5340957245d848fe96680acc6b5bd71fsaying goes, you end-up with “pent-up sexual energy”. When those needs are met, you have greater ability to cope at work, less likely to be distracted, more attentive to your children, and the like. But you also have other needs, and so does your lover. What if you never asked for help? Or your lover never asked you for help? What if you never sat down and talked? It would feel less like a partnership and more like a booty-call. Same with God. He wants to partner with you. He wants you to petition Him. He wants you to intercede. He also wants to ask you to come alongside Him and be a vehicle for action on this planet for His purposes like a power couple. It’s a symbiotic relationship (symbiotic: interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association, typically to the advantage of both).

how-often-is-mr-mrs-right-your-dating-type

Both deep intimacy and communion are vital to keep the other in balance and growing in deeper relationship.

Even when I don’t feel it, I have to reprogram myself to the fact: God hasn’t left me until our next session. God is omnipresent. He is with me even when I don’t ‘feel’ like that’s the truth. Romans 8 is encouraging me right now. I hope it can encourage you as well. I will end with this beautiful expanded version: “When we have trouble, when we are hunted-down, when we are destroyed, when we are hungry, when we are penniless, when we are in danger, when we are threatened to death, when we fear today, when we worry about tomorrow. In the depths of the ocean, or on the highest height, has God deserted us!? NO! Nothing will separate us from the love of God.” I think I can add in there, even in the mundane, even in the daily tasks, in the routine, in the moments I don’t ‘feel’ it. I will choose to program my mind to KNOW that God is with me; I have not been left. An intimate exchange will come and it will be beautifully refreshing. I am growing closer to God.


IMG_2727Bethany Luchetta is a writer of life and reality. In hopes to connect with the humanity around her, she writes from her heart. Bethany just celebrated 7 years of marriage with her love, Vince Luchetta. They are both on their second marriage. Life has not been without challenge in their personal lives and career lives, yet they strive for growth in love and tragedy. They share three beautiful daughters, Makayla (17), Paige (13), and Livvy Lou (3). If you see them, reach out and say hi!

 

An Unlikely Companion

An Unlikely Companion; The truth about the ever present shadow of depression, clinging to me when I am at my weakest. | By Dezirae Hesse

Depression: meet my dark and twisted companion I’ve known since the seventh grade. I call it my companion because it’s always there, like a shadow, lurking and waiting for me when I’m weakest. A product of the enemy no doubt. Stirred up when you least expect it. I was young and experiencing the woes of being a teenage girl in middle school. My parents were ironically becoming “the enemy” and I felt like I was alone in the world and didn’t know how to deal with all of my new and overwhelming feelings. That’s when I first felt the pangs of the unmeasurable darkness. Although I had never experienced it before that point, I had seen it growing up. My sister had tried to take her life twice when I was younger and even had to stay in a mental institution on ‘Suicide Watch’. As someone who was closest to her I knew how low and how sad she was – I had just never felt that for myself. I saw the strain it put on our family and how after my parents were quick to diagnose and medicate anything they didn’t know how to handle. I wanted nothing to do with it – it was all so hush-hush and I thought it was something to be ashamed of. So, I remember telling myself I wasn’t going to let it overtake me because I didn’t want any part of that lifestyle, and somehow was able to suppress it most of my life.

Twin-Oaks-Garden-Estate-Wedding-Dezirae-Eric-VP447

My most recent and arguably one of the deepest depressions I’ve experienced happened about a week after I got married. Odd to see isn’t it? Depression and marriage in the same sentence. As beautiful and joyous as that day was for me it was as if it was a catalyst back into the arms of my dark and twisted companion. Before I knew what was even happening I was in the dark, gray and dull world that is depression. It envelops you overnight while you sleep and you’re most vulnerable. I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t eat, I felt numb to anything and everything happening around me, and could feel no other emotion besides the overwhelming sensation of hopeless despair. What was the point of even getting out of bed when I had absolutely nothing to live for (or so it felt)? It was like my mattress had grown arms while I was sleeping and I was trapped in its relentless grip, sinking deeper and deeper into my bed. I remember feeling guilty because as a new wife I was already failing my new husband, Eric. I wasn’t the ‘Susie Homemaker’ I had idealized in my head: the house was not clean, the dishes were piling up, and I was anything but attentive. And nothing he did was making me feel better. It’s like knowing there’s a battle going on in your body (while to others you look seemingly fine) and not being able to do anything about it. I started to feel his anger and resentment towards me. Why couldn’t I just get out of bed? Why didn’t I just take a shower? Why wouldn’t I just eat? What was the point? I was a failure. The days I was able to get out of bed I didn’t feel like myself. It was like I was a hollow shell of who I was walking around with a dull sense of self. I started to withdraw from friends and family. I wouldn’t answer my phone calls and would deny any social occasion. I just couldn’t bring myself to slap on the ‘I’m okay and everything’s great’ mask this time. The enemy relies heavily on the fact that depression isolates you and goes to work beating you while you’re already down. You don’t want to let people know what you’re going through because you don’t want to burden others with the heaviness you’re carrying. I felt suicidal without the tendencies – what a terrifying realization that was.

Twin-Oaks-Garden-Estate-Wedding-Dezirae-Eric-VP534

Fortunately, we had a life group to turn to (thank you Skinny Chins – you know who you are). I admit there were a couple of meetings that I had missed because I couldn’t pretend to be okay when I definitely was not, but Eric reassured me that this is what Life Group was about: going through the ups and downs of life together; getting together to support and uplift each other when life gets you down. And let me tell you: life group is just that – a group of people that breathe life into you with love, support, and words of encouragement. Especially when you’re feeling low. That’s where my most recent visit from my “companion” was put into perspective: I was grieving the life I had. Everything I had to look forward to was now done and I was feeling like I had no purpose to go back to. It was like the person I was – even my name – was gone. As a highly empathetic and compassionate person, I had just gone through some pretty serious milestones in my life and I was overwhelmed by the change. Not knowing how to navigate it all, I unwilling sank into the infinite abyss that is depression yet again. It was so bad I seriously considered seeing a therapist and using medication to get me out (something I have never been willing to do my entire life so that was a HUGE and scary thing to me). There I was asked a simple question that changed everything: How had I overcome it in the past? The answer: I was strong enough not to let it overtake me. I either needed to give in and get help or pray for the strength to overcome. It was my choice and both were commendable. There was nothing to be ashamed of and as I was reminded I didn’t have to stay on the medication forever. So, I was at a fork in the road: turn to medication or find the will and the strength to break out of this again. I went home that night with a renewed sense of hope and the most simple answer: with God I can do anything. I prayed all night to walk in my God given strength to overcome the enemy.
Twin-Oaks-Garden-Estate-Wedding-Dezirae-Eric-VP495You need people the most when you’re going through hard times – darkness cannot live in the light of the words which others speak into you. Every day I’m on the up-and-up and feel more positive and productive in my life and marriage. There are days when I feel like I’m slipping, but I tend to overcome. I am open about my feelings of depression now more than ever – especially surrounding my wedding. The more women I talk to about it the more I find out that it is not as uncommon as it may seem. Although I will probably battle with depression the rest of my life, I was definitely reminded about the importance of fellowship and having a foundation rooted in faith.

John 8:12 Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

 


Twin-Oaks-Garden-Estate-Wedding-Dezirae-Eric-VP316

Dezirae Hesse has been married for 7 months. She and her husband, Eric live in Escondido and are proud pet parents (say that five times fast) to their cat, Zara and fish, Charlie. They have been going to The Father’s House together for almost 2 years, and serve on the Worship Team and TFH Kids.

Love & Tragedy

Love & Tragedy | by Bethany Luchetta

My heart starts to race. I am angry. I let it linger, fester, grow into outright rage. We are human; all susceptible to whims of fleeting emotions. But, where is my trust during tragedy? Do I fire-off political unrest, race induced beliefs, religious anger, conspiracy theories, or lobbyist topics? Where do I put my energy? How can I bring my elevated heart rate back down to a trusting place and learn from what I am feeling? How can I learn about myself from my own thought patterns and feelings? After all, they are my own. I stop to consider this, but I come to the conclusion that it’s easier to banter about someone else’s thoughts and feelings and actions and words, than consider my own. So, I fire off a social media post attempting to relieve myself of my own fear on a public platform hoping for validation. I achieve momentary satisfaction from people who agree with me, but am again quickly angered by those who do not agree. The cycle is addicting because it takes me away from the issue; my own heart.

We are only responsible for our own elevated heart rate that could indicate fear, insecurity or anger in the recesses of our heart and mind. Once we feel this elevated emotion ignite, it gives us the ability to locate where we confide our trust. We can change the world one heart at a time if we begin inside our chest.

170907-st-martin-irma-mn-1140_16097ca5c5bf8814cb38d752367c5636.nbcnews-fp-1240-520Grieving people may take offense to this topic being submitted in the twilight of their loss. I am not writing to hurt anyone, but to offer peace. It takes my breath away in deep sorrow for the three people I know who lost someone last week at the hand of evil. There are people grieving today from the loss of their homes from fires, and still others in dire straights from recent disasters. Every person has a different vantage point. People are passion inspired from original stories of their own. It’s helpful to stop and listen; to build relationships while we are here, where you can. You love me and we bond over our similarities, but we can disagree and yet respect our differences. It’s respect of differences that makes us the same.

636431839762877896-Vegas-shooting-60
We thank God for the ones who were spared
from fire, flood, and gunshot. We thank God when we are spared. And we should be thankful. I struggle with thinking someone was spared only because they had Faith in God. Many who have faith in God are not spared. The Bible speaks loudly to the fact that those who believe are still exposed. So, yes, be thankful for being spared, and for those spared around you. But we already know those who believe will fall along with those who do not believe. Destruction and death leaves us grieving. It hurts, I am not denying that. It seems so cliché to quote the Bible when people are hurting.

la-northern-california-fires-live-coverage-hundreds-evacuated-blazes-ravage-napa-sonoma-20171009
So, we blame God for those who are not spared
. Have you ever been in a relationship where you were forced to love the other person? Sounds toxic and suffocating, doesn’t it? Not much of a relationship if you ask me. Well, if you believe in God, aren’t you glad you aren’t forced to engage, or agree, with Him? From what was etched about the philosophy of God, we are created to act in ‘Free Will’. A ‘Will’ to believe in Him, or not to believe. We have a capacity for good or evil; for thinking. Case-in-point; people choosing to be evil. We are capable of great and wonderful feats of amazement! Just look into the eyes of your child (if you have one), the proof is right in front of you. It may be too much and you decide there is no God. If you don’t believe in God, you may also be glad no one can force you to believe otherwise. At any rate, you may agree that life is precious. We want to point blame when tragedy happens. History is full of sorrowful, sensual, thoughtful and profound acts created by ‘humankind’, and nature alike. The question may forever be asked, ‘why’? This question may never be answered, or then again, the answer may resonate inside of you. The God I know begs you to ask this question, if not to tear down walls and become vulnerable, maybe to find His heart in an answer to your own soul.

vessels-ministry-the-heart-of-god-lightSo, if God is real, then who serves a God who made a human race capable of horrid things? How can nature destroy senselessly? This is a deep conversation; possibly the one that divides faith, religions and belief systems so severely. Who am I to argue with your conviction? I can only tell you what I believe, you may shake your fist indicating, ‘she’s an ignorant believer’. I am a believer. I am a believer in a God who made my Universe; the Divine. I am not a believer in religion, or church, or a denomination. I am a believer in Love. I believe I was made to love. I believe this little light of mine was made to shine. I believe in a God who loves bigger than I can ever express and who granted us faith to trust that His eternal plan is greater than the temporary physical life we sensationalize (literally experiencing with just our 5 senses). I believe that believers die too; sometimes horrid deaths. God is not here to be a magic potion for our human problems. We can’t pray away the Earth’s pangs. We all are subject to physical decay and death, accidents, misuse, abuse, bad choices and so on. I believe when we trust God, we are able to have a solid knowing that life is eternal. We are here to grow with each other, to experience relationship with other humans; to grow our forever spirit. I believe that when evil takes lives, life doesn’t cease to exist. I believe we are far more than physical beings, we are spirits beings. I believe spirits live forever… And in this truth, I hold my hope and trust.

In moments of heighten emotions during tragedies take note of your own heart, breathe and refocus to the most important thing: souls. Take the time to locate your pain, offer compassion to yourself and others. And most importantly, remember that LOVE is still greater.


IMG_2727Bethany Luchetta is a writer of life and love and tragedy. In hopes to connect with the humanity around her, she writes from her heart. Bethany just celebrated 7 years of marriage with her love, Vince Luchetta. They are both on their second marriage. Life has not been without challenge in their personal lives and career lives, yet they strive for growth in love and tragedy. They share three beautiful daughters, Makayla (17), Paige (13), and Livvy Lou (3). If you see them, reach out and say hi!

First World Problems

First World Problems | by Sally Smith

 
It is a line, drawn over dirt, that creates a division. A line that makes this side the United States, and that side Mexico. What a powerful line that is. We all live by the laws of that line, people die by the laws of that line, and lives are drastically different because of that line, and so many other lines like it. Agencies are created to preserve the laws of divisive nature of that line, to protect one side of the line from the infiltration of the other side… the side of the third world country, where poverty is a major issue, education is inconsistent, sanitation is spotty, law enforcement is corrupt, and frankly, the struggle is real. But I am not here to discuss the pleas of the hungry and the myriad of problems that occur on the other side of that line. I am here to illustrate the unfortunate and ridiculous quality of the fortuitous hoards of people that fall north of the line. I lump myself into that category, as I am not above the silliness; I am sure I do at least 10 things a day that tightly stitch me into that fabric. I am speaking in regards to the “First-World Population”.

It has become a catch phrase; a humorous little saying, “First World Problems”.

Me – “My Amazon Prime does not apply to this order and I will have to pay for shipping!”
My Friend – “Oh, haha, first world problems!”

Me – “My $105 Lululemon pants have been in for free alterations for 2 days! I really want to wear them; when are they going to be done?!”
My Friend – “First world problems, for sure.”

Me – “I really need the new pool key so that I can use the jacuzzi!”
My Friend – “Poor you! First world problems.”

Here are tons of reasons why I do not get to complain about life: I have a car (not just any car, it is an economical, nice looking, newish car, with a keyless ignition, bluetooth, cruise control, and it LIVES in a garage), I have running water (for two bathrooms and one kitchen sink), I have a washer and dryer, a heater, a gas fireplace with ceramic logs, blankets, towels, cupboards full of food, a closet and drawers full of clothes and shoes… All of this because I also am blessed with a good job, platforms for personal growth, and lots of friends and family that provide direction and influence in this here first world. I should never, ever complain. But, inevitably, I do!

binge-eating-full-body-fridge-confession-ecards-someecardsOf course, I have illustrated the humor in this because in this privileged city, inside of this prosperous country, it is a playful way of saying that we know how lucky we truly are, and that we should not lose sight of that. I know full well that the fact that I am buying $105 leggings means that my priorities, such as bills, food, medical, etc… have been paid for. That I have surplus for luxury items with absurd price tags. It is as though the proclamation of humorous fact absolves me from feeling any guilt regarding that line in the dirt, that separates the haves from the have-nots. It makes me feel that my proclivity for nice things has been earned by my hard work. Maybe it has… a little.

i-love-hearing-you-complain-about-the-first-world-problems-you-just-bought-said-no-one-ever--fb593My point is simply this: though it is a funny saying, as it evokes a visual of how outrageous some statements are, I hope that we never grow too comfortable in our “first world”. I hope that we take moments to issue gratitude to the Lord for our comfortable circumstances, for food on the table, for our modern American health. I hope that we consider giving back, and how to give back. I hope we never do forget that there are millions on the other side of the line that is drawn in the dirt, that would cry tears of joy to sleep in my garage, next to my economical, newish car. So when you are having a “first world moment”, and you find yourself grumbling over something that is truly a non-issue in the scheme of things, remember this: “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” (William Arthur Ward)

Colossians 3:15 –(NIV)15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.


Sally Smith is a 40-something Mother of two daughters, both whom are loving, talented, and independent. Lila, 19, just started her 2nd year at GCU, and Rubi, 13, just began attending the Orange County School of the Arts. When Sally is not busy driving to the train station, to dance, or selling two way radios (no, really, that is her job!), she can be found shakin’ it at Zumba, or cooking/surfing/chilling with her main squeeze. Life is Beautiful…