Forever Ours: One Family’s Adoption Journey

HOW GOD CONTINUALLY REVEALED HIS FAITHFULNESS IN THE ADOPTION OF OUR SON

BY BECKY BREWER


“A child born to another woman calls me ‘Mom.’ The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” —Jody Landers

 

At the age of 18, I knew I would be a foster mom one day. I was a new preschool teacher, and one of our preschool families fostered little ones. I saw God’s heart for these children in their life, and I knew that would be me one day. After many years and one biological son, Lucas, my husband, Jeff, and I decided it was time to step out in faith and travel the road of foster care.

We picked up our first little guy from Polinsky Children’s Center (a 24-hour facility for the emergency shelter of children who must be separated from their families for their own safety, or when parents cannot provide care) at the age of 10 months old. He had been placed in the foster system after being physically hurt. He was scared, untrusting and dealing with deep trauma. We had no clue what the future held. His biological family was still very involved in the case, and navigating these unknown waters was overwhelming, to say the least. We didn’t know if he’d be with us weeks, months or a lifetime.

I wish I could say the middle of this story was filled with lots of joy and happiness. For me, it was filled with stress and fear. We were deep in the trenches with a biological family who couldn’t make things work to keep him safe. A year into the case, our little guy’s half-sister came to live with us as well. She was an infant, the dynamic shifted, and we now had the uncertainty again of how the story would end.

After more than two years in our care, we knew the Lord had brought us to the fight of our lives. But what could we do? Foster parents have very little to no say in the court system. In the height of court trial after court trial, and decisions about the future of our son’s life, we heard the voice of God say, “Be silent!” My first thought was, “You have to be kidding.” I was ticked off—I’d fought hard for this child to never have to endure a life of abuse, and now God wanted me to be silent? It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I chose to be obedient, stand to the side, do my job to love and care for this sweet innocent life and waited on the Lord. We trusted Him. During that time, my fears turned to faith, and I had to believe His words were true—He loved this little boy more than I ever could.

There was a very critical time in the case when everything that could go crazy did go crazy—attorneys were being changed, people with power who had never met us or our son were making decisions about his future. During this scary time, we were prompted by God that now was the time to no longer be silent. And at that moment we began to see miracle after miracle in his court case. We were given money—with no expectation to pay it back—to get a lawyer to represent us. Our son was somehow assigned the best minors attorney in the county, after three previous attorneys. The Lord kept giving us stone after stone to build our testimony of His faithfulness.

Finally after several days of trials and almost three years in the foster system, a judgment was given that this little boy would be placed in adoptions, and that we would be the family blessed to adopt him and call him forever ours.

Adoption is not an easy task, whether overseas, traditional, open, closed or through the foster system. A child not with his or her biological family, no matter the reason, has endured trauma and hurts on some level. The daily and weekly navigation of questions and answers about their story is a tough part of this journey.

Although our son’s little sister went back home to her biological parents, we still have a relationship with her. It is difficult to see this family through the eyes of Jesus knowing what my son endured, yet I can use it as a chance to die to myself, my anger, sadness, fear and disappointment and to see what God sees. In the midst of brokenness, He sees redemption and hope. Some days I’m very successful, and other days I need His grace. He created this longing in my heart to love the orphan, and our first case was a doozy! After our first placement and adoption, we had a chance to walk away and never foster again. We know the need is so large, and the Lord asked us to continue. We have since fostered seven amazing bundles of joy! And we’ve spoken into the lives of these kiddos, their biological families, new adoptive families and our community. A season of silence has allowed the Lord’s voice to be heard loudly through our faithfulness.

Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord will fight for you, you have only to be silent.” In my silence the Lord was able to work His good for our son. I often wonder where we would be if I had chosen to disobey in that moment and “fix” the problems myself. I am so thankful we were able to hear the voice of God above the chaos and trust that His word is true. I encourage you, in the stressful places or fearful places, seek God—wait for His voice to lead you. When He does, I believe He will create a story for you that is overflowing with miracles and redemption.

 


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

-1Becky Brewer became a stay-at-home mom after 13 years of teaching Montessori preschool. For the past five years, Becky and her husband, Jeff, have been advocates for foster children. She and Jeff have been married for 17 years, and have two sons, Lucas (15) and Adrian (5). Together their family has cared for seven babies in the foster system and hopes to adopt their current placement.

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