Trade Secrets- Keeping Your Husband Your Boyfriend

Greetings everyone!

Have you ever wondered how other married couples seem to have it all together with what appears to be “the perfect marriage,” all the while, causing you to look inwardly at your own?

After the “I do’s” are exchanged and the honeymoon is over, we begin to settle into married life and get accustomed to each other’s habits, likes and dislikes. During the honeymoon stage, couples tend to overlook the little things that our spouses do which might annoy us. We work diligently on making our spouse happy…and then, it gets real. The demands of everyday life, our busy work schedules, entering into parenthood and just simply living day-by-day while working to make it to another. But what happens next?

When the weight and burdens of the world and our personal lives become too heavy, where does this leave us as man and wife? During the early years of my marriage to Reigh, we got into a disagreement over the purchase of dinnerware. It’s silly in a sweet way, but our disagreement was a pivotal moment in our marriage. And so here it goes…our dinnerware story.

We came across a black dinnerware set which Reigh liked and I came across a white set that I liked. We couldn’t agree on the same color but we agreed on the same pattern. However, each of us wanted what we wanted for “ourselves” and not what we wanted together, so we bought both sets. Can I just say, “STUPID”? This was a horrible mistake! When we used them as a combined set, we hated the way they looked at the dinner table and even more so when we put them away.

These plates were a reminder of how our own individual desires got in the way. So Reigh and I vowed back then to always make decisions together, big or small. If we don’t agree on decisions together, we don’t move forward until the right choice comes along for us. What a sweet reminder that married life is not all about us individually but that our lives are indeed much more happier and complete when we can decide on things together, as one.  We’ve shared this story with many people over the years.

Our marriage is not perfect, but I can assure you that it’s strong because we put God first. Our goal and desire in our marriage is to leave a legacy of love and to model that love in a way that Jesus would have us live, which is by way of grace and forgiveness. Reigh and I pray together daily, engage in spiritual unity and give all the glory to God on High for His countless blessings. We know that without Him, we are lost. In every season, He is there guiding us along our journey in life. His love will never fail us. In our weakness, He is strong.

My personal trade secret for keeping my husband my boyfriend: I study Reigh and know the things that fill his heart. I speak his love language by giving him words of affirmation. I express my appreciation for him by making him aware how truly blessed and thankful I am to have a husband who leads our home so well. I’m thankful for his cover and provision for me, our children and grandchildren. I remind him daily without fail how much I love him. I enjoy spoiling him and making him laugh. I love pursuing him, especially more so, every year that I’m blessed to be his bride.

Today, we are inseparable and we are approaching our 29th wedding anniversary. I love this godly man of strength who is filled with so much wisdom more than the day I married him. He’s my breath, my heart, my life!

On a final note, an encouraging scripture and reminder for us all…
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

teresaTeresa Harrison is happily married to her loving husband, Reigh of 28 years. They have two adult sons and two grandsons. She is an Account Specialist for AIG Direct. She supports the Immersion San Diego program and is a host home parent of two interns. Teresa assists with KidBuilder’s ministry events and KidCheck Welcome Table. She’s an elder, mentor and supports her husband with their weekly small group. She is an active fundraising supporter for The Alternatives Women’s Center and she enjoys helping people, including the homeless. Her passions are various church ministries, spending quality time with family and friends, photography and camping.

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